The Search for Happy

Happiness. The elusive goal of waking up in the morning with no worries in the world. You wake up and have your partner, maybe kids, and your home. You are happy. To many, this sounds like happiness. We all have a version of this vision, and we equate that with happiness.

Problem: Life has to continue when we achieve happiness 

Happiness is a noble goal. Yet given the fact that we are future oriented means that we will always have a vision of happiness to achieve. This means once we have achieved our vision, there will be another vision of happiness to strive for. This means we are perpetually stuck wondering how things could be better. Here is the idea put forward here; lets strive for meaning! 

How to do this? Envision yourself when you woke up this morning. It may be that you had some idea of what a good day would look like, and what a bad one would look like. This might be the seed for achieving meaning for our lives. That is, we need something to strive for, but we also need to envision a situation for our lives we really want to avoid. Finding meaning for our lives requires us to have a goal, but also what we don't want for our lives. 

Negative emotion is at least as strong a motivator as positive emotion. It therefore doesn’t make sense that we wouldn’t incorporate a fear of the worst of ourselves as a tool to live our best lives. To move forward, we need a positive thing to strive for, and also a fear of what we don’t want for ourselves.  

So how do we go about this? Picture yourself in 5 years’ time. Picture the best possible version of what things could be like. Now, picture the worst possible outcome if you did the things you know you shouldn’t do between now and then. Write these down and remember these are both possible for you. Here, you have a framework in which to live your life. 

Remembering what the best and worst of yourself is, and the consequences of both in 5 years’ time: this is the difference between being optimistic and being integrated. 

Why is it important to be integrated? Once you have achieved your vision of happiness, you will be able to continue to move forward into a meaningful life. That, we say, is true happiness. 

Want to know more about how to achieve meaning in your life? let us support you in your quest. Book an appointment with Holistic Psychology today.

Knowing your personality

Your Personality: Mapping out the 5 parts of you

Your personality traits are influenced by a broad range of factors. These traits are generally stable over time and are determined in part by your biology, in part by your environment, and by the interaction of the two. 

Let’s discuss each one in turn, through the acronym O.C.E.A.N.

OPENNESS 

Openness is a person’s tendency to think in abstraction, or in complicated ways. 

People who are higher in openness are typically creative, adventurous and enjoy intellectual pursuits. For example, people high in openness may like going to art museums, reading books and having complicated philosophical discussions. People higher in openness also enjoy seeking out new experiences and don’t enjoy following the normal way of doing things. 

If you are very high in openness you may find that you do not like routine, and do not enjoy doing repetitive tasks. As a result, you may find it particularly difficult being in a lower-level job which does not involve persistent change and different tasks. Being high in openness is particularly suitable for people in the workplace who make decisions

People who are lower in openness tend to be more practical in focus. For example, they won’t likely see the point of abstract philosophical discussion, and may not see the point of art. People lower in openness are also less likely to seek out novel experience and ideas and prefer to follow traditional ways of doing things. 

If you are lower in openness you may find it easier to abide by routines and are not so bothered by doing repetitive tasks (whether in life or work). Those who are lower in openness tend to be good administrators, as they can even enjoy following administrative processes. 

CONSCIENTIOUSNESS

Conscientiousness is a person’s tendency to be self-disciplined and be controlled in pursuing goals. 

Being higher in conscientiousness typically means you would find it easier to be organized and are more determined and find it easier to forego immediate gratification for the sake of reward later on. For example, conscientious people will work on a task when finished and are less likely to procrastinate when completing a task. 

If you are higher in conscientiousness you are more likely to have got better grades in school. Being higher in conscientiousness also predicts being a good administrator or manager. You also won’t be likely to deviate too much from standard policies and procedures in the workplace. 

Being lower on conscientiousness indicates more impulsivity and being more distractible. Being lower on this trait also makes it more likely that you may procrastinate, and not follow standard ways of doing things in the workplace. 

If you are lower in conscientiousness you may find you are bored easily by routine, and also have trouble keeping your immediate environment clean and tidy. It is important if you are low on this measure to establish a stable routine so that you can ground yourself on a day-to-day basis. 

EXTRAVERSION 

Extraversion is a person’s tendency to seek out stimulation in the outside social world. Extraversion can be thought of as the amount of sensitivity you have for positive emotions (particularly in relation to social relationships). 

If you are high in extraversion you will likely seek to engage with many people to earn friendships and be enthusiastic and talkative. You will also be the first to act, and you will derive joy and excitement from (particularly novel) social experiences, and be more willing to disclose personal information in social situations. 

If you are high in extraversion you are well suited to jobs which involve a lot of client interaction. These include jobs in sales, marketing, public speaking and group-based work. You would also likely find that you find it harder to sit down and do work by yourself. As such, it is a good idea if you are extraverted to space out your client interaction throughout the day so you get a reasonably consistent source of interpersonal interaction. 

If you are low in extraversion you will often find yourself more comfortable in situations which involve fewer people. You also will likely derive enjoyment form activities that don’t necessarily involve interaction with other people. Being low in extraversion will often mean you find yourself tired from extensive social interaction. 

When you score low on extraversion you will find yourself more comfortable in jobs which involve less client interaction and are more comfortable doing isolated tasks. You also may be less confident in public speaking. 

AGREEABLENESS 

Agreeableness describes a person’s tendency to put the needs of others ahead of their own. Agreeable people are compassionate and polite. 

People who are high in agreeableness are typically high in empathy and derive pleasure in being there for others. They are also willing to forgive easily, are compliant, kind and nurturing. As such, you are high in agreeableness you will tend to avoid conflict. 

If you are high in agreeableness means you will be less likely to engage in workplace conflict and be diplomatic (or even the mediator) in social situations. Being higher in agreeableness is useful for professions which involve an element of care such as nursing, teachers and doctors. However, agreeableness can be useful for fostering social connections as it can also make social interaction easier. 

People who are low in agreeableness are not very forgiving, accepting, flexible, gentle or patient. They don’t easily feel pity for those who are excluded, punished or defeated. They are also not easily taken advantage of by disagreeable or manipulative people. People low in agreeableness also enjoy competition quite a bit – and are often described by others as competitive.

Those low on agreeableness often earn higher salaries than their high agreeableness peers. Due to their tendency to engage in conflict, when necessary, moderately disagreeable people tend not to sacrifice medium- to long-term stability and function for the sake of short-term peace.

NEUROTICISM

Neuroticism is a person’s tendency to experience negative emotions such as fear, sadness, anxiety and guilt. 

People high on neuroticism often think things have gone horribly wrong in the past and will in the future. Being high on neuroticism also makes you more likely to be unhappy, anxious or irritable. 

If you are highly neurotic, you will be risk averse. This means you are less likely to enjoy professions or jobs where there is financial or physical risk involved. You will also be concerned primarily with the maintenance of your status instead of raising your status. 

If you are low in neuroticism you will be less susceptible to feeling negative emotion and generally are more stable in mood. 

If you are low in neuroticism, you will likely find that you are the “cool head” in the workplace, and will be particularly resistant to high-stress environments. 

For a tailored discussion about your personality style and what it means for you professionally, in addition to your core beliefs, both conscious and unconscious, contact us today at info@holisticpsychology.com.au. You can also directly book a session here at www.holisticpsychology.com.au